Life of Hardin Vol. IV, No. 20

Salud de hombres

(Men’s Health)

September 2007

in today’s issue:

Best Foods for the Paraguayan Man

Mr. Paraguay Competition: Winners and Losers

Feature Article: Top Exercises for the Busy Paraguayan

(article excerpt)

If you’re like me, it’s hard to find time for proper exercise. Monday through Saturday you get up at five, take a 45-minute bus ride to work, get off at six, and ride another 45-minutes home. Not much time left for anything but meals and sleep. And forget about Saturday night. That is reserved strictly for cerveza. Some guys just give up and leave the perfect body to the professional bodybuilders.

But don’t fear! Salud de Hombres has done the legwork for you. We sent our experts on a four-week trial to find those exercises that give you the most bang for the buck without losing time out of your busy day. We narrowed it down to five and put them in order of least effective to most. In other words, we saved the best for last.

Clubbing. Okay, it sounds crazy. It surprised us, too. But when we thought about it, the benefits became obvious. Most guys dance while they are at a club. Even if it’s just a shuffle or shimmy, you burn a few extra calories. You may ask, “Don’t you add them back drinking beer?” One would think. But we found that guys who club order the big beers, the magnum sizes that come with their own giant cozies. It’s a full workout to lift one of those to your lips. Multiply that by how many drinks you take, and you’ve got a serious superset. Add this to the fact that a guy in a club is awake burning cals instead of sleeping, and you’ve put in a decent workout. So don’t stay home on those Saturday nights, guys. Get out there and club.

Asado. Some of you may be homebodies. Hey, we all are sometimes. We just don’t have the energy to get out to the clubs every Saturday night. So throw a party of your own. Besides the benefits mentioned above, when you throw a party at your own house, you do all the work. We found that guys who did the cooking for their asado burned loads of calories standing over the hot coals. It’s like a sauna in there. And with the prep work of carrying all that raw meat back and forth you’ve got a real man’s workout.

Walk to and from work. What could be simpler than this? Buses are easy, but you spend money and that chipa so’o you ate for breakfast (all carbs) goes right to fat. So take a hike! If you need an extra push, see our next suggestion.

Pilates. Yes, Pilates is generally for women. And nowhere is that macho sentiment more at home than in Paraguay. Yet that’s exactly the point. The Pilates gyms are kind enough to have all plate-glass windows for walls. The guys we studied didn’t take the Pilates classes, but they made a point to walk past them to and from work and during lunch hour once or twice. So find your nearest Pilates class and do some sightseeing. Now that’s motivation for an extra cardio power walk.

Those are all great, but they don’t even come close to our top workout for busy guys. If you’re really crunched for time, try this one.

Dodge traffic. Ever try to cross the street in Asuncion? If it took you more than 2 seconds, then you’re not reading this because you’re squashed flat. Smart pedestrians cross in front of the Beamers and Mercedes. They know they’ll stop rather than ding their fender. But you can get in some great wind sprints if you dash in front of those old Fiats or Nissans. Give it a week. We promise you’ll be thinner one way or another.

Life of Hardin Vol. IV, No. 19

Big Tipper

When it comes to leaving tips, I have never been a cheerful giver. I never saw the joy in leaving extra money when a restaurant owner should have paid sufficiently in the first place. I am now struck with a twinge of conscience when I think of my several friends who worked for tips and often offered to dance on the tables of their customers just for an extra two bits.

But I am not struck too badly. I left the suggested percentage. Just not cheerfully. Unless of course I ate at Logan’s and the waitress kept me stock full of yeast rolls. That type of waiter earns special honor.

My displeasure in tipping came mostly from my failure to see the joy in it. I have seen it now. Paraguay has helped somewhat with that. The percentage of gratuity here is 10% rather than 15%, so I am actually trained to overtip. That bodes well for a person who eats at the same restaurants over and over. I no longer have to rush out of restaurants before the table is cleaned. I no longer have to slip back in and sit at a different table to avoid the previous one.

There is something to be said of being a regular customer at a restaurant where you leave a large tip. A new restaurant just opened here in Paraguay. It has a nice outdoor patio. It also has good ice cream at a fair price.

My wife and I stopped in to try said ice cream. The waiter told us to sit where we wanted. So we chose a table where we could watch the world go by while we ate. The waiter brought us our double-scoop cones, and then the check as we finished. It was two dollars.

I had no change for the tip. So as much as it pained me, I was stuck leaving a dollar tip on a two dollar check. If you do the math, that comes to a 33% tip.

My wife and I returned to said restaurant another night to try their regular food. As we walked up the waiter greeted us with a smile.

“Would you like your table?” he asked. He showed us to the same place we sat on our previous visit.

The menus appeared before us in a flash. We ordered and then watched the world go by as we waited. But we didn’t have to wait long. Our waiter slid a tray in front of us.

I began to say, “We didn’t order this,” but he cut me off.

“I thought you might like to try this while you waited on your food.” He set a small bowl of chips and dip down.

It was at that moment that I can truly say I felt the joy of overtipping. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling, much the same as holding a new puppy in your arms or opening presents on Christmas morning.

I like being a regular customer. I have a usual table. I have a usual waiter. Food is placed before me without the need to order. Needless to say, I overtipped again and felt good about it.

I think I will start leaving that extra 40 cents more often.